Pregnancy Update! 20 weeks(VERY Long)

You may have noticed a sharp dip in the number of post I have done since I announced we are expecting our 3rd child in September. There is a very good reason for that(and it wasn't morning sickness).

This year has been hard on our family so far but we are starting to feel that things are turning around for the better. We have been ill off and on for most of the the year(causing my husband to use up most of his pto for this year already), my husbands car broke down and needed replacing, he also fractured his ankle, was worried about his father's knee surgery, and the list goes on and on. I am sure most of you can related to a "bad streak" in your life too.

But the worst part for me emotionally has been dealing with the news I got the day after my announcing our new baby in the middle of all the other stressful life events. So here is what has been causing me so much emotional strain I couldn't find the energy to keep up around here:

The day after my sonogram my doctor's office called. The woman on the phone asked to speak to me. I had just gotten home from the grocery store and was giving my little boy(1 year) a snack.

I don't remember exactly how she started but here is what she said; " Dr. xyz was looking over your ultrasound from yesterday and wants you to go see Dr. abc. He is concerned that the front of the baby's brain looks thicker than it should at this point. This can be a sign of Down's Syndrome."

At this point I am already choking up and worried. I try to speak and say "Okay" without crying, but I did a lousy job.

She quickly informs me(in an annoyed voice) that this doesn't mean our baby has Down's, just that there's a chance and further test/screenings need to be done. She then tells me when they have scheduled my appointment(10 days later) with Dr. abc and the address.

Once I hung up the phone I couldn't help myself and just broke down sobbing. This greatly upset My little boys so I tried to pull myself together to keep him from crying. I had to fight back the tears the rest of the day, until my husband got home. Any spare moment I had that day and the following week, I spent researching Down's and cases where the mother was told baby had it before the birth.

For the next week or so I was a mess. I would cry whenever I was alone, several times a day.
A few days before the ultra screen, I started to feel hopeful and that the testing would clear everything up and show the Doctors my baby was just fine.

That was not the case, unfortunately. During the ultrasound part of the test they looked at the fluid at the back of the baby's neck(nuchal fold). An increase in fluid is a marker for chromosomal abnormalities. Our baby had a very large amount of fluid. The technician doing the ultrasound had to call in 2 others(the doctor and the head tech, I believe) just to be sure she hadn't miscalculated somehow.

The doctor tells us this is not a good thing and we were sent to a room to wait to talk with a genetics counselor and discuss what that meant and our options. We waited for wait felt like forever before she came in to see us.

She then gathered our family tree and told us that the only way to know for sure is an CVS(not the drugstore!) or amniocentesis test. We declined to do either since there is risk of miscarriage with both test. She also explained that Down's isn't the only possible cause of the fluid build up. Trisomy 13 and 18 and Turner's are now possible culprits. Because the build up is so severe trisomy 13 or 18 are the most likely for us.

Down's and Turner's syndrome are usually things people can live with and even be productive and somewhat "normal". Trisomy 13 and 18 mean the baby has a 90% chance of dying in the 1st year of life. I was in tears again trying to comprehend how things could go so wrong and so fast. Just 11 days prior I was so excited to share that we were having another child, and then the doctors are telling me he/she has a 50-70% chance of dying or having lifelong health concerns.

We were then told to wait to speak to the geneticist . He just explained in more detail what each condition entails and the courses of action we could take from that point. We chose to do any of the noninvasive screenings and test. Our next appointment would be for an in depth anatomy scan. They would look for heart and other defects that are nearly always present in fetuses with chromosomal problems.

That was NOT what either my husband or myself were expecting. We were both sick to our stomachs by the time we left. I had a hard time "feeling" pregnant for the next 8 weeks. I tried not to talk too much about the baby with my daughter (5 years) so as not to get her excited about the baby that might not even live to be born.

Two weeks ago I finally started feeling movements from the baby. It went from nearly no movement at all to lots of thumps and bumps almost over night. Once the baby started doing this I again got hopeful that things would not end in heartbreak.

Wednesday this week we went back to the perinatal doc(Dr. abc) for our 20 week sonogram. It took over an hour(maybe 2, I didnt check what time it was I when we got back there) because they were using a new, unfamiliar machine and the doctor wanted to see live pictures of the baby's organs and limbs as opposed to the stills the technician had taken for him. He kept having her go back over the heart, head, neck and limbs. Finally he sent us to that room again to discuss the findings.

Since the girl doing the ultrasound said everything looked good to her, we weren't too worried. When the doctor finally came to talk to us the news was very welcome! The fluid build up at the back of the neck has pretty much not changed. The good news was the heart and every other area they looked at was normal and healthy looking. He said based on those findings we could rule out trisomy 13 and 18(the two that meant baby would die). He/She Could still have Down's or Turner's syndrome, but because everything but that fluid was normal the chance is lessened.

I should also mention children with Down's and Turner's syndrome have a higher risk of being stillborn, but once they make it into the world alive the survivability rate is very high. We are not in the clear just yet. We are scheduled for another ultrasound with a pediatric cardiologist in 6 weeks to make sure the doctor didn't miss any less common or subtle signs of heart trouble.

I now feel I can breath, though and that a weight has been lifted from my heart. I am sharing now because I felt like I was lying by omission to everyone and I would greatly appreciate if could send your thoughts and/or prayers our way!








P.S. - can you guess what baby is from the last picture? *hint one of the genetic problems is only found in one gender